so i'm sitting at my study table, looking at the amount of mess that i have. its reflective of how i am these days- messy, all over the place, on the verge of sanity. i've got tons and tons of work to finish which i probably wont finish it all tonight cause looking at the time, its already 9.20 pm. f it.

some of things on my list:
1) econs case study
2) wuthering height essay
3)complex no.s ass 2,3
4) leaders' reflection

DAMN. I know the last one was actually to be handed in abt a month ago. but long story short, i never got around to doing it, damn!

its funny how the ppl close to me are having all sorts of emotional outburts. while i'm on the sidelines observing. i guess my ability to shut out everything else has done me good, saved me from tears. though i empathise with most of them, i see no purpose in engaging in this emotional rollercoaster ride. i guess i have, in the past. but not now. not ever if i can help it. though i'll still be there for friends who need me, but hopefully i'll still hold on to myself while doing it.

Unfortunately, i have experienced being emotionally attached to people, and the outcomes were not pretty. they either don't come through for you or they simply lost interest halfway. and i guess, i've learnt to let go before it comes to that.

if people became like me, there'd be less sorrow and tears, but hey, we would all be masked performers wont we?

playing the game of smoke and mirrors.