i'm on a never ending emotional rollercoaster. everything pulling me on all sides, shouting telling me what to do. the time is suffocating. i can barely breathe. the only one i want is far away. in her own world of equations and graphs. all i want to do is run run run get lost in shapes and sounds. the walls in my room closing in on me. i think of jumping out the window. see whether things get better. i want to scream out loud. jump off cliffs. dive out an aeroplane. anything to make this stop.